Once again, we’re moving!
Ugh…
Active duty chaplains uproot their lives, and their families, every few years. We call it a PCS, or Permanent Change of Station. Depending on the assignment, Navy chaplains often move every two to three years.
It’s stressful.
Moving is consistently ranked as one of life’s major stressors. Add in new jobs, new schools, new communities, and saying goodbye to people you’ve grown to love, and military moves can feel overwhelming. They do for me.
One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that the Service Member often has a built-in support network waiting at the next duty station. We report to a new command, meet new coworkers, and quickly plug into the mission. Family members don’t always have that same advantage.
Spouses have to rebuild friendships. Children have to navigate new schools and social circles. Everyone starts over in some way. That reality can make military moves especially challenging.
Still, this is the life we have chosen, and it requires a special kind of resilience. Here are three things that have helped our family through PCS season:
1. Lean on friends.
You can go through it alone, but why would you? Let people know what you’re facing. Ask for help packing, watching the kids, hauling boxes, or simply listening when the stress starts piling up. One of the benefits of living in a military community is that people are always giving away moving boxes and paper after they move in. It’s a community recycling program! This can literally help save money for your move.
2. Use checklists.
A PCS has hundreds of moving parts. Create a packing schedule, track important deadlines, and break the process into manageable pieces. Every item checked off is one less thing weighing on your mind.
3. Practice letting go.
Not everything needs to make the trip. Learning to declutter and release possessions you no longer need makes packing easier and can be surprisingly freeing. Less stuff often means less stress.
If you’re in a PCS season right now, hang in there. The boxes eventually get unpacked. New routines develop. New friendships form. Home starts to feel like home again.
As we were packing up our own house recently, I told my wife, “We’ll be okay. We will make it through.” She looked sideways at me and asked, “Are you telling me this, or are you talking to yourself?” 🤣
The truth is, probably both.
One lesson military families learn over time is that home is less about a place and more about the people you share it with. The address changes, but the people who matter most don’t.
How about you? What’s the best piece of moving advice you’ve ever received?
To read more about military chaplaincy, check out our newest book, “Military Ministry: Chaplains in the Twenty-First Century,” available at all major book retailers…
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